A Reflective Essay

     I was a bit hesitant to take this class. I have always thought of myself as a fair writer, but it has been a long time since I have taken an English class. I have written papers for Humanities class and put together research papers for a biology class and I always get a good grade, but I knew this class was going to pose difficulties. I didn’t think I was prepared for my writing style to be picked apart. I can usually throw together a good story, but I learned quickly that this class would require more effort than that. I have learned how to add vivid detail to a story, organize my thoughts and brainstorm, and I have learned how to write for a specific audience.

     I pride myself on using good grammar and using proper punctuation and I thought this was the biggest obstacle to overcome when writing an essay, but I very quickly learned this is not the case. Grammar and punctuation although necessary, do not make a story interesting. I had to learn to add colorful interesting words and verbs to my essays. Without such additions the story seemed to be dull and lack life. It took me a few tries before I caught on, but I realized that the addition of those words really did make all the difference. For example, in my “Red Hot Lesson” essay instead of just saying that I used baby oil to tan, I described the sweet smell to help give the reader more vivid detail. Because of this class I am no longer naïve to the importance of these words.

    I have always had the most trouble with starting a story. One reason I find it difficult is because I don’t find my life interesting, so who would want to read my stories? After reading the example essay and the instructions for the assignment, I would sit in front of my computer and look at the blank white screen. I would constantly be searching for an idea. When at work I was constantly thinking about what I should write about, jotting ideas down on credit card receipt paper. When I would come up with an idea I would start to type. It was a slow process but I always made it through. I always have trouble with the introduction, but once I was able to get it down, it was smooth sailing. I have surprised myself many times by coming up with a story I had forgotten about or writing a story and turning it into something that I was proud of and found myself sharing with friends. I think that brainstorming for an essay will always be problematic, but after taking this class and writing over thirty essays, I know I will eventually come up with the perfect story.

     Upon looking back on my first essays I realized that I had poor organization skills. When writing the story I would just let all of the ideas flow together, unaware of how disorganized the story was. To me it made complete sense, but to the reader it was a confusing mess. It took me some practice to learn how to organize my thoughts, keeping in mind chronological order. Because I still have trouble writing an organized essay, I make sure to go through the story several times and think about the story from every angle. I try to put myself in the reader’s shoes so that I can write an interesting, effective essay. I know that I still need work as far as organization goes, but I think that I have come a long way.

     Before this class the only audience that I wrote for was my professors. When writing for a professor I always kept in mind that the paper I was writing was for nothing more than a grade, I never tried to entertain. I was not worried about making him laugh or making him sympathize with me, I was only trying to convince him that I knew the subject matter at hand and that I deserved the best grade possible. Having a blog for this class put me in a different mindset. Although I knew my professor was going to read my essays, I had to keep in mind that my peers would read them as well. So I had to switch gears and write to entertain. I wanted to write a funny essay, an essay that would bring about emotion, or cause my peers to sympathize me. Captivating an audience can be a difficult task, but I found that if I was enthusiastic about the topic then getting the readers to like the story wasn’t that hard after all.

     I started this class with hesitation. I was not ready for my writing to be judged but once I jumped in and gave it all I had, I found that I really enjoyed myself. I learned valuable writing skills that I would not have learned otherwise. I will now always add vivid detail when needed, brainstorm for as long as it takes, and organize my thoughts effectively. 

Classification and Division Based Peer Review

Writer’s Name & Title of Essay: Chelsea Adams- Think Before You Speak

Reader’s Name: Briana Salter

1.     

          1.  Is the introductory paragraph interesting?  Why or why not? Does the introduction specify clearly what is to be classified and/or divided into groups?

     The introduction is interesting, especially the first sentence. I think it is clear what the essay is going to be about, but there is not classification, she mentions a couple of different ideas in the introduction.

2.       

      2.Is there a clear thesis statement?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s point or purpose for the classification and/or division?  Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement.  If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below. 

      I don’t think there is a sentence that is a clear thesis statement, but the “you are what you say” part gives a good idea about what the essay is about.

3.      

     3.Is the writer’s basis of classification clear (see “Notes on Classification and Division” posted June 2nd)? Why or why not?  By what means is the writer grouping his or her subject matter?

     Although I can see how the writer tried to divide and classify the different types of speech, she did tend to mention two different ideas within the same paragraph. I think the writer should have talked about slang in one paragraph and improving language in another. That would have helped to bring classification and division to the essay.

4.     

           4.  Are the groups or categories clearly defined and uniquely named?  Do any seem to overlap or appear oversimplified or based on stereotypes?  Explain.

      The categories do seem to overlap, and they are simplified. I think the writer could have given more examples for each idea.

5.       

      5.Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Why/why not?  Note any paragraph that seems out of order.  Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Explain.

      The essay would improve if the writer arranged the paragraphs by ideas, focusing on one idea per paragraph. The transitions between the paragraphs are not very good because each paragraph is so different from the other, it does not flow well.

6.      

     6.Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s classification and/or division? 

      The beginning of the fifth paragraph is off topic and is out of place. I think the essay would benefit if it was deleted. The writer does provide some details and stories as to why she wants to improve her vocabulary or why she has used slang, but I think she could add more.

7.      

     7.Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent?  Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).  

     The fifth paragraph is the one that is the most out of place. The essay would be more coherent if there were more order. I think the essay would flow better if she started off talking about why she used slang, then went into how her language has developed and how she went about improving it.

8.    

            8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph.  Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the introduction?  Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or seem to switch focus?  Why or why not?  How can the conclusion be improved?

      The introduction and conclusion do tie in together, although the focus in the conclusion slightly goes off track by mentioning that she is constantly teaching herself new words. I think if the writer focused more on how a person’s vocabulary gives certain impressions and not how she learns new words the conclusion would be better.

9.       

     9.Now look at sentences.  Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images?  Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells?  Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of?  (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.) 

      The sentence that stands out most is the first sentence of the essay. There are not any apparent errors.

10.  

       10.Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

     What I like about the essay is how she focuses on the fact that a person’s vocabulary does give certain impressions. I think that if the writer organized the essay better and gave more examples, the essay would improve. 

Definition Based Peer Review

Writer’s Name & Title of Essay: Mallory Wehr- Why I Want a Wife/Husband Essay

Reader’s Name: Briana Salter

1.       

      1.First of all, does the essay respond appropriately to the assignment: 1) Is the writer writing about a group or class that he or she is a member of?  (For example, a male shouldn’t be writing an “I Want a Girlfriend” essay; also an “I Want a Genie” essay would not be acceptable), or 2) Is the writer ranting against a pet peeve or current societal shortcoming?  Explain your answer.

     Yes, the writer responded appropriately to the assignment. The writer belongs to a group known as “girlfriends.”

2.       

          2.“I Want a Wife” is a good example of an essay with an implied thesis statement.  Does your writer have an explicit (stated) or implicit (implied) thesis?  If the thesis is clearly stated, re-write it below.  If the thesis is implied, write what you believe the thesis to be below.

     The conclusion does not have a pronounced thesis. I know that she will be writing about what it is like to be a girlfriend, but there is not a sentence that sums up well what she will be talking about. I feel as though the conclusion should be shortened, she has added one too many ideas in this first paragraph. I am not able to state an implied thesis because all the writer tells me is that she too would like to have a girlfriend. Everything else she mentions is about what her past relationships were like, which has very little to do with the definition of a girlfriend.

                       

3.      3. Is the writer’s term or concept sufficiently defined?  Why or why not?  What other information would help you “define” this term?

     The writer only briefly touches on the definition of a girlfriend. I feel as though she spent too much time talking about the personality traits she would want in a girlfriend rather than the duties of a girlfriend. The essay we read for this assignment was written by a woman and a man that were talking about themselves, but they were not using first person. I think this writer switches from using first person to third person, which makes for some confusion. After reading the essay I know very little about what she thinks it takes to be a girlfriend.

4.       

           4.Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis?  Point out any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or definition. 

     In the introduction she mentions that she wants a girlfriend, but in the body of the essay there are only a few examples as to why she would want one. I feel as though the list of characteristics she gave could describe a variety of groups of people. I think the third paragraph is very out of place, it does not fit the rest of the essay, it goes off track.

5.       

     5.Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Why/why not?  Note any paragraph that seems out of order.  Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Explain.

     If the third paragraph was taken out, I think that would help focus the essay a little more. Because this assignment called to list duties of a certain type of person I think it would be difficult to organize efficiently, but maybe if the writer group similar ideas into the same paragraph, like school related duties, family, and personal. I think that the writer could improve on the transitions between paragraphs; it would help the essay flow a little better. If the paragraphs had separate topics I think it would help with the transitions.  

6.       

     6.Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details that would help define the writer’s term(s) or concept?  Does the writer utilize the different strategies of definition (see “Notes of Definition” posted June 1st)?  What strategy should the writer consider using more?  Explain your answer—why would this strategy be effective?

     As far as defining what a girlfriend is, I do not think the reader accomplished this. Because the writer was supposed to define something by class, she should have given examples as to why being a girlfriend is different than being a friend, a mother, or a coworker. I think that she lost sight of this a little bit. If the writer focused more on the duties of a girlfriend, and defined being a girlfriend in a way that it was noticeable the essay would be more focused.

7.       

7    7.Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent?  Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).  

     The third paragraph is definitely out of place, and there are a few sentences that do not make much sense, or lose focus. I think if the writer grouped ideas then there would be more unity within the essay.

8.       Brady’s essay is also a good example of an effective tone…while not quite a rant, she definitely exudes frustration with society’s expectations of “wifely” duties.  Does the essay you’re reading have a similar tone?  

      8.What could the writer do to sound even more exasperated?

     I do not feel as though there is any tone to the essay. If the writer explained the duties of a girlfriend, or described in more detail what it takes to be a girlfriend, I think there would be a certain tone to the essay.

9.      

     9.Now look at sentences.  Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images?  Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells?  Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of?  (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.) 

     I think that the fifth paragraph captures what the essay should be about. The writer describes the duties that most girlfriends take up to please their boyfriends, and within this paragraph there is a certain tone.  I think the writer uses commas a little too frequently, and the essay would benefit from more vivid description.

10.  

     10.Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

     What I like about the paper is that the writer does list a lot of good personality characteristics that make a good girlfriend. She is descriptive in the personality traits. I think that the essay would improve if the writer focused more on the duties of a girlfriend, and complained a little bit!

Illustration Peer Review

Writer’s Name & Title of Essay: Olivia Thompson -Mean Girls

Reader’s Name: Briana Salter

1.       

1    1.Is the introductory paragraph interesting?  Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to continue reading? Can you tell what strategy the writer is using to begin the essay (see handout)?

     I did not find the introduction very interesting. I feel as though the writer presented a couple of different ideas, not focusing on either idea. There is not much incentive to keep reading. I think to help with this, the writer should pick one idea, then elaborate to capture the readers interest. The process of the essay is not apparent in the introduction.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

                         

     There is not a clear thesis statement. Because the writer mentions a couple of different ideas, it’s hard to determine the purpose of the essay. I can guess that that the essay is about being judged based on appearance, or about how cliques influence other people and how they are treated, but the idea is not clear.

3.Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement.  If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below. 

     Implied Thesis: Being a female, judgment and discrimination is a part of daily life.

4.Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis?  Point out any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or the point or purpose of the examples provided. 

     I do not think that all of the paragraphs contribute to the purpose of the essay. The writer veers off topic and talks about her work habits. Only a couple of paragraphs address the idea, and I do not feel as though strong enough examples were given. I think the examples could have been more descriptive and the writer could have expressed how she felt at the time these comments were made.

5.Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Why/why not?  Note any paragraph that seems out of order.  Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Explain.

     The paragraphs definitely need to be revised. The introduction does not give a clear example of the purpose of the essay. The body of the essay is not paragraphed correctly. None of the paragraphs have specific topics, they contain several different ideas, and very few of them relate to the topic at hand. The conclusion is not satisfying. I do not feel as though the writer addressed the idea at the end, the essay does not feel finished.

6.Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s point or concept? 

     The writer gives some details, but they are mostly about the job she performed, not about being judged or how she felt about being judged. If more examples were given, or if she could have related the specific experience to something else, I think it would help the idea that “the female population is known extremely well for judging other people.”

7.Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent?  Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).  

     I do not think that the essay has much unity or coherence. Some sentences do not make much sense, and the paragraphs would benefit from organization. I feel as though the writer did not try and organize the ideas, they seem to jump around. I feel as though some entire paragraphs are irrelevant to the story, and adding specific details would help to add coherence to the story.

8.Go back and read the first and last paragraph.  Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the introduction?  Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or seem to switch focus?  Why or why not?  How can the conclusion be improved?

     The introduction brings up issues such as women judging other women based on appearance, dominance between women, and mean girl cliques that form to put other girls down. I feel as though the essay very briefly touches only on topic, the mean girl clique. The conclusion focuses on something completely different: issues between coworkers. The writer mentions that she is a hard worker, and that she tries not to upset anyone at work. I do not feel as though the conclusion and introduction have the same topics in mind. The conclusion could be improved if the writer focuses less on work and more about how she deals with being judged.

9.Now look at sentences.  Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images?  Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells?  Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of?  (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.) 

      None of the sentences really stand out. The writer does not use many verbs, the sentences are not detailed, and it’s easy to lose focus of what the essay is about. I find that the sentences run on, and some of them do not make sense. The essay would benefit if the writer organized the sentences better.

10.Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

     What I like about the paper is that it addresses a topic that most women are familiar with. I think there is a lot to say about this topic, so if the writer refocused the essay it could be a good story. If the writer organized her thoughts and added specific detail, the essay would improve. 

Peer Review for Maya Tolefree- Motherhood

Writer’s Name & Title of Essay: Maya Tolefree; Motherhood

Reader’s Name: Briana Salter

1.      1.Is the introductory paragraph interesting?  Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to continue reading? Can you tell what strategy the writer is using to begin the essay (see handout)?

     The introductory paragraph is not very captivating. The writer makes it known what the essay will be about, but other than that there is not much incentive to keep reading. From the introduction I am not able to decipher what strategy will be used.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

    

     I believe that the thesis statement is clear. I have a clear idea what the topic of her essay is about.

3.Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement.  If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below.                                                                                                      

     Thesis statement: Although there are many difficulties being a single mother it is overall very rewarding.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis?  Is it clear to you how each of the paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining?  Are any of the required steps or stages left out?  Point out any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process. 

   

     I think that although the paragraphs describe the routine of being a mother, there is not enough said about the rewards that come from the challenges of being a mother. Although the writer mentions the reward in the conclusion, I think she should have mentioned a reward in every paragraph. For the essay to be a process essay, I thought it was a little scattered. I think it could have been a little more organized. I think the fourth paragraph does not fit very well. The writer focuses less on the process of motherhood, and more on how Kimora eats. I think this paragraph would belong more if more steps were included.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Why/why not?  Note any paragraph that seems out of order.

     Because the writer is describing a day with Kimora, I do not think it should be arranged differently. I think to make the essay a little more cohesive the writer could have included more details within the paragraphs.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details? 

     I feel like the paragraphs don’t flow well. Some of the paragraphs have a topic, others don’t, and some repeat topics. Because this is a process of going through the day with her daughter, and things like eating are something that is repeated throughout the day, but I think there is a way to make each instance different and new. More details could definitely be added to make the paragraphs more interesting. I think some more detail about her daughter or some personality traits of her daughter could have helped make the essay more vivid.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent?  Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).  

    The paragraphs do not have apparent topics, so they do feel a little unorganized. Most of the sentences are relevant to the topic, I just feel like they lack interest. If more details were added, it would be easier to carry a topic throughout the paragraph instead of bring several different ideas into it. The essay would be more coherent if each paragraph had a topic, and the transitions between the paragraphs were in place.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph.  Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the introduction?  Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or seem to switch focus?  Why or why not?  How can the conclusion be improved?

     The writer talks about the challenges and difficulties of being a mother, but I think she loses this concept in the body of the essay. I think that each paragraph would have benefited if the writer introduced a challenge then ended the paragraph with a reward. I think the conclusion could have been improved if the writer focused again on the hardships of being a mother but reiterated the fact that in the end it is a reward to be a mother.  

9. Now look at sentences.  Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images?  Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells?  Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.) 

     There are a couple of sentences that contain vivid detail which make the story more interesting. For instance when she said that her daughter was calm like an eye of the hurricane when she is asleep was very nice detail. The writer does not have a problem with spelling, few punctuation errors, but I do think that the sentences themselves need work. Adding more detail, adding comas when necessary, and some sentences are too short ad they jump from idea to idea. The essay would benefit if the writer paid more attention to detail in the sentences.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

     What I like about the paper is that I get the impression that the writer enjoys the little challenges that her daughter presents her. I able to picture a mother running around after a toddler, cleaning up food, and doing homework while watching Dora the Explorer. I find the essay sweet and endearing. Two comments that I can make that could improve the essay is to add more vivid detail. I think it will make the essay more fun to read. Also, I think some humor could be added if the right words were chosen. The situation where Kimora got into her mother’s blush could have been a really funny story if more details were added. One technique I do when telling a story is try to envision it. I write down every detail; sound, sights, smells that help tell the story, and then I go back and refine the paragraphs. I think if the writer did this, the essay would only be that much better. 

How to Con an Instructor Revision Essay

           Enter college you'll soon be reminded of an old saying, “The pen is mightier than the

sword.”  That person behind the instructor's desk holds your future in his or her ink-stained hands. 

Your first important assignment in college has nothing to do with required readings, examinations,

or even the hazards of registration.  It is, instead, how to con an instructor. 

     The first step in conning an instructor is to use body language. You may be able to convince your

instructor that you are special without even saying a word.  When you enter the classroom, be sure to

sit in the front row, that way the instructor can't possibly miss you; then, as the instructor lectures,

take notes frantically. The instructor will be flattered that you think so much of his or her words that

you want to write them all down. A felt-tip pen is superior to a pen or pencil, it will help you write

faster and prevent aching wrists.  While you are writing, be sure to smile at the instructor's jokes and

nod violently in agreement with every major point.  Most important, as class continues, sit with your

body pitched forward and your eyes wide open, fixed firmly as if hypnotized on your instructor's

face.  Make your whole body suggest that you are watching a star.
     Once you have mastered body language, it is time to move on to the second phase of conning the instructor: class participation. Everyone knows that the student who is most eager to learn is the one who responds to the questions that are asked and even comes up with a few more.  Therefore, be sure to be responsive. Questions such as, “How does this affect the future of the United States?” or “Don’t you think that someday this will all be done by computer?” These questions can be asked in any class without prior

knowledge of the  subject matter.  Many students, especially in large classes, get lost in the crowd and

never do anything to make themselves stand out.  Another good participation technique is to wait until

the instructor has said something that sounds profound and then ask him or her to repeat it slowly so

you can get it down word for word in your notes.  No instructor can resist this kind of flattery.  However,

the most advanced form of conning an instructor happens after class. 

     Don’t be like the others who slap their notebooks closed, snatch up their books, and rush out the

door before the echoes of the final bell have died away.  Did you ever notice how students begin to get  

restless about five minutes before class ends, even if there’s no clock on the wall?  Instead, be reluctant

to leave.  Approach the instructor’s desk hesitantly, almost reverently.  Say that you want to find out

more about the topic.  Is there any extra reading you can do?  Even better, ask if the instructor has

written anything on the topic—and whether you could borrow it to read (or, even better, where you can

purchase a copy).  Finally, compliment your instructor by saying that this is the most interesting course

you’ve ever taken.  Nothing beats the personal approach for making an instructor think you care.

      Body language, questions, after-class discussions, these are the secrets of conning an instructor that

every college student should know.  These kinds of things go on in high school too, and they’re just as

effective on that level.  Once you master these methods, you won’t have to worry about a thing, until

the final exam.

Mother Tongue Essay

     As I have gotten older, and as I work my way through college I have noticed that it is a necessary life skill to be able to express yourself adequately. I do not believe that my English is as good as it can be, but it is something that I am actively working to improve.

     As I navigate through my day there are several instances when I use different vocabulary to express my thoughts. The one place where my English varies most is at work. I work at a fine dining restaurant, so I am expected to describe meals in an appetizing and appealing manner. I use vocabulary at work that I do not use otherwise. While talking to a customer I choose certain words to describe a wine or an entrée in a manner that would appeal to the customer. I use words such as succulent, simmer, delicate, aroma and seared to describe the featured entrées. It is important to use particular appetizing vocabulary while describing the dish in order to appeal and possibly sway the customer into choosing that entrée. If I did not use these appetizing words to describe the dish, I doubt many people would be interested in what I was saying. The customers are not the only people where I use different vocabulary. The majority of the employees that work in the kitchen are Hispanic, so I find myself using vocabulary that is simple. When speaking with them I am deliberate when choosing what words to use. I want to make sure that they understand what I am saying, so I speak slower than I usually do, and use short simple phrases. While I am thinking about the conversations I have with them, I realize that it probably does not benefit them, or enhance their vocabulary if I choose to use simple language. But in order to get my point across in a timely manner, using simple language is the best method.

     Outside of the restaurant, the other area of my life that I consciously use particular vocabulary is at school. College is a place to learn, a place to grow and expand. I would find that I would be back tracking if I did not actively work to improve my English. Although I do not speak as well as most students, I am constantly seeking to get better. While talking to my professors I am careful not to use slang or vocabulary that does not do me justice. I feel as though I need to prove myself in a way; if I do not show that I have the ability to use proper English to express my thoughts, then I cannot  expect my professor to believe that I have learned much. While talking to my peers I am not as particular at using specific English, but I do maintain proper vocabulary. Being a nursing major I am constantly learning new words, words that I have never been exposed to before. It is exciting for me to learn these words and know that I will someday be emerged into an environment where this vocabulary is important to be able to handle certain situations. I believe that it is important to learn how to write and talk effectively while in college so that you can be better prepared for your career.

     If I am not at work or in school, then I find that my English slacks slightly. Because I am around my boyfriend and friends, I do not feel as much pressure to use enhanced vocabulary. Although I do not use slang or use curse words, I find that I do not use particularly good English while talking to my friends. I am more relaxed with the words I use. I usually keep my thoughts simple, therefore the words I choose are generally simple. There are times when I may find myself in deep conversation with a friend or my boyfriend and I will refine my vocabulary and use English to express my thoughts, especially if I am in a disagreement. I have noticed that it is hard to believe someone or take them seriously when a person uses slang words, especially in a disagreement. I have a lot of work to do, as far as improving my English goes. I read on a regular basis hoping that will help improve my vocabulary. I am not completely comfortable with the vocabulary I use, but I am making a constant effort to improve it.

     Using proper English is important, whether you are at work or just sitting around with your friends. Knowing how to express your thoughts using good descriptive words is an important tool in life. The way a person speaks, the language they use, the English words they choose are a good indicator of a person’s education, of the person they are. A person’s words are in a way, a part of who they are. 

“Mother Tongue” Response Questions

1. What occasion caused Amy Tan to become “keenly aware of the different Englishes” she

used?

     Amy became aware of the different Englishes she uses when she was giving a talk to a group of people about her writing. The English she was using was not uncommon, but what made it different was that her mother was present.

2. The expression used in Amy Tan’s title, “Mother Tongue,” is also used in paragraph seven.

What does this expression generally mean?  What does it seem to mean in this essay?

     To me the expression “Mother Tongue” means a person’s native language. I think that the phrase means either the authors native language, cultural language, or family language.

3. Tan uses dialogue throughout the essay…why do you think she does this?  What purpose does

it serve?  Which sentences of dialogue do you find particularly effective, and why? 

    I believe that Tan uses dialogue throughout the essay so that the reader has a good idea of the English that her mother speaks, as well as the conversation between Tan and her mother. The dialogue helps the reader to understand why Tan would alter her English when speaking to her mother. She does it either to relate, or she imitates unknowingly.

4. In what ways did outsiders (like bankers and waiters) make judgments of Tan’s mother

because of her language?  Do you think the judgments where deliberate or unconscious on their

part?  Explain.

     Outsiders such as bankers and servers treated Tan’s mother as if she were less than them. They were rude to her, gave her terrible service, or refused to speak with her. Because of her limitations with English, Tan’s mother found it difficult to get other people to take her seriously. I believe that the bankers and servers that dealt with Tan deliberately chose not to understand because they put very little effort into the conversation. I have spoken with many different people whose primary language is not English, but I found that with patience it was easy to understand them.

5. Growing up, how was Tan’s perception of her mother influenced by the way she spoke?

     Growing up, Tan was embarrassed of her mother’s English. Because of her mother’s language limitations, Tan had to speak to adults about adult business because her mother was unable to get her point across or people did not take her seriously. I think when Tan was younger she was not proud of the way her mother spoke, but I think now she is very proud and thinks that her mother’s English is beautiful. 

How Do We Find The Student... Essay

     I have worked in a number of restaurants over the past several years, and so I have definitely noticed a trend when it comes to “restaurant cliques.” In a restaurant there are numerous positions to be filled, so there are many different kinds of people that are hired to fill the positions. I try not to be judgmental, or group people into stereotypical groups, but it is difficult not to do, especially when you are a new employee.

     I have been at the restaurant that I work at presently for nine months, so I have had time to form an opinion of my coworkers over a long period of time. Restaurants have a high turnover rate, so there are always new people entering into the clique. It’s always interesting to see who they gravitate towards, what group they will join. Because I have worked in restaurants for such a long time, and have in the past immersed myself into the drama, I chose not to form any close relationships with my fellow coworkers. Because I am not part of any one clique, I feel as though I can make an unbiased opinion about my coworkers.

     The first and most common restaurant worker is the single mother. She has usually been in the restaurant business for a very long time, so she knows the tricks of the trade. She is very confident in her job and usually does it better than any other server.  They can be a little aggressive and dominant, and they like for people to keep out of their way. Because there is a lot of money to be made as a server, the single mother works hard. She is always willing to come in early and wants to be the one to stay the latest. In my experience I always find the single mother to be very trustworthy, the one I go to for help. This type of employee is usually the most faithful and is always backed up by management.

     The next type of restaurant worker is the college student. This type of worker, depending on their age, can be good workers or flaky. The flaky college student server complains about being at work, is stressing about the exam they have the next day, and will leave as soon as possible. This type of worker is always trying to get rid of a shift. Although they usually do their job well, they are not dedicated enough and so management will promote them in any way. The good college student worker is dedicated to their job because just as college is important, so is paying their bills. Although they do not go out of their way to work extra shifts, they do the job they are assigned and leave their school stresses at the door.

     The next type of restaurant worker is the male server that is in his late twenty’s, early thirties. They may or may not have a college degree, and they usually have a child or girlfriend. I find that this worker is always the most frustrating to work with because I feel they view their job as social time. They walk around like they own the place. They are always standing around planning a get together for later that evening, and they are always making inappropriate comments to the female servers. They are usually not the best at their job because they are too busy socializing. Because they are so confidant in themselves, they usually have the management fooled. They are able to talk themselves out of trouble, so they are rarely reprimanded.  

     Another type of restaurant worker is the young female server that has worked in the restaurant for a few years. Usually this type of server has sucked up to the managers, intimidates other servers, and will be dishonest at times. This is my least favorite type of coworker. They are controlling and bossy. But they are always a little too nice to your face. They usually are not in school, so the restaurant is their life. They want to run the show, and usually get to. I have learned how to handle this type of person by completely disregarding them. There isn’t anything they hate more. They want people to run to them for help, they like to be in control. There will always be this type of person working in the restaurant.

     Although I do not know my coworkers entirely, this is the perception I get from observing them. I have seen these personalities in almost every restaurant I have worked at, and I doubt that they will go away anytime soon. 

“How Do We Find the Student…?” Response Questions

1. This essay appeared in The Chronicle of Higher Education, a weekly publication for college

and university professors and administrators. How do you think this audience influenced Baker’s

analysis of types of students? What about his tone and language seems appropriate for this type

of audience?

     I think that Baker’s audience influenced the analysis of the types of students because he felt that they shared similar views.  I’m sure that most professors have opinions similar to Baker’s about their students. I felt that the tone that Baker had throughout the essay is one of judgment to create the specific stereotypes. His tone was appropriate for his audience because his audience probably has similar thoughts about the students.

2. Baker deliberately creates, rather than avoids, stereotypes to establish exaggerated

representatives of types…do you think his classifications are fair?  Do they accurately reflect the

whole spectrum of students?  Why or why not?

     I understand why he would stereotype students, I think it is only natural, and I recognize the stereotypes listed, but I do not agree. Most of the stereotypes are based on observation or superficial relationships. I think there are many facets to a person, that no one person is just a jock, or an egghead, but if the professor got to know the student before classifying him/her, they would make a very different judgment.

3. This article was published in 1982: How well have Baker’s classifications held up to present

conditions?  Do these groups still exist?  How closely do they mirror the student population at

USI or other colleges (or high schools) you’ve attended?  Explain your answer.

     I believe that these classifications are very general, and will always be around. One reason is because of the activities offered at a high school or university. If a student choses to play a sport or join the drama team they are then stereotyped as the jock or the drama kid, not the student who plays a sport or acts in a play. I think it is too common and unfair to stereotype because you may not want to get to know that person based on the small amount of information you know about them.

4. Which category (or combination of categories) do you fit?  Explain your answer.

     I do not think I fit perfectly into any one category. I have been the lost soul, the jock, the worker ant, and the happy child. But more importantly I am a student. Part of going to college to try and find out who you are, where you belong. Students are constantly trying to find their place, so to judge them based on one attribute would be to judge too soon. The category I want to belong to is the college student that graduated and started the career she worked so hard for.

5. Based on your experience, how would you define the relationship between students and

faculty?  What stereotypes does each group (fairly? unfairly?) hold about the other?

     Up until this past semester I did my best not to form any type of relationship with faculty. I wanted to be the invisible student. When the professor read my name or graded my paper, I did not want him/her to put a face to my name. I was extremely intimidated of my professors. I never asked questions for fear of asking a dumb one, I never wanted to bother them. I felt that professors thought of students as annoying. Many of my professors demonstrated frustration with their students, so I made sure to keep far away.  But now that I have a career in mind, a goal to work towards, I view my professors as people who are here to guide me through my education. Last semester I asked questions in class, went to the professor for help, and made sure that they knew my name and knew that I was ready to work hard. I do not know what category my professors would place me in, but I hope it is the hard working, determined category.   

Why I Want a Friend Essay

     These days, it’s hard to find a friend. Not just a friend to go to lunch with, or a friend that will go shopping with you, but a friend that can be trusted.  A friend that you can call at any hour of the day if you need help, or when you just need to talk. I have friends, but I feel as though most of my friends lack qualities that I find necessary for a true friendship to last. I wish I could find a friend that is similar to how I treat my friends.

     I want a friend that will be there for me no matter what, whether they think I am right or wrong. My friend should offer support at all times, no matter the circumstance. I want a friend that will drive around with me for hours while I cry about my troubles. My friend will need to listen patiently, agree with everything I say, and then remind me what a wonderful person I am. I want a friend that will stay up with me until 7a.m. because I just broke up with my boyfriend. My friend will have to lend a shoulder to cry on, and then offer to buy me breakfast. I want a friend that will drive thirty minutes out of the way to come and pick me up because no one else will. I won’t have any gas money, so a thank you will have to do. My friend will have to buy me birthday presents and Christmas presents, Valentine’s Day too. My friend will always have to want to do what I want. I want a friend that is willing to make me happy, because she is my friend.

     Most importantly I want my friend to keep my secrets. I will tell my friend my deepest secrets and she must never let them slip. When I am having trouble in school, my friend needs to help me. She should sign up for the same classes so that we can sit together. I want a friend that will help me wash my car and paint my room, even though I know she doesn’t want to. My friend should want to go to the same restaurants that I want to go to, see the movie that I have been dying to see but I know she hates.  I want a friend that wants to do what I want to do. I want a friend that will tell me that my new dress looks good on me. My friend must not lie, no matter what. I want a friend that enjoys similar hobbies. I want a friend who is loyal. When people talk behind my back, I want my friend to stand up for me, even if she thinks what they are saying is true. My friend should be proud of the person that I am.

     I want a friend that will let me dominate the conversation. My friend must listen attentively to everything I am saying, give advice when needed, and smile and nod when appropriate. I want my friend to think that I have a lot to offer. My friend should be excited about my career goals. I want a friend that will talk with me for hours about what my life will be like when I begin my career. I want my friend to help me pick out my future city, and talk about what life will be like. I want a friend who is responsible with money so that I can ask her for advice. I want a friend that will sing loudly to my favorite songs. My friend should take off work and go see my favorite band when they come to town. I want a friend who is enthusiastic and up for anything. My friend should be sensitive and know when I am upset and need to talk. When my boyfriend comes over, my friend should leave, even though we had plans. My friend should understand that these things happen. I want a friend that never gets mad at me. My friend should always be happy. My friend should not be jealous, or envious. I want a friend who likes me no matter what.

     I want a friend that treats me with equal respect, a friend that enjoys my company. I want a friend that likes to be around me, not just because I lend an ear, a shoulder, and a wallet. 

“I Want a Wife” & “Why I Want a Husband” Response Questions

1. Do these essays have a traditional, explicitly stated thesis?  If so, what is it (for each)?  If you

believe the thesis or purpose is implied for both essays, paraphrase each in your own words.

      I do not think that these essays have explicitly stated thesis. The purpose of a thesis is to tell a reader what they are to expect. From reading the first paragraphs of the essays I do not understand the true meaning of the essay until I read a little further.  

2. Throughout the essay, Brady repeats the words “I want a wife” and Fernsler repeats “I want a

husband.”  What is the effect of this repetition?

     I think that these words are repeated to remind the reader how unimportant or unappreciated they (the writers) feel. I also think they repeat the words to keep the reader connected to the idea of what a husband or wife is (or does).

3. Brady never uses the personal pronouns he or she to refer to the wife she defines.  Why do you

think she makes this choice?  What about Fernsler’s pronoun usage?  Is he equally “genderless”? 

How does his pronoun usage impact or affect the essay?

     I think that Brady never uses the personal pronouns he or she to refer to the wife she defines because one, she is referring to herself, and two she wants the reader to relate. Using he or she gives the impression that she is talking about someone else, not herself or the reader.  Fernsler does use the pronoun he. I believe Fernsler used the pronoun “he” in the essay because he stated in the introductory paragraph that he is not a husband, so maybe he cannot relate. His use of the pronoun within the essay makes me think of some unknown person. I don’t feel as though the writer is completely relating, nor do I relate as I did with Brady’s essay.

4. The first and last paragraphs of each essay are quite brief.  Why do you think Brady and

Fernsler chose to write such short introductory and concluding paragraphs?  What effect does it

have on the reader?

     I think that the introductory and concluding paragraphs were so brief because the body of the essay held all of the substance. The writers did not have to say much to introduce or end the essay because all the thoughts were put into the body.

5. Do you think both authors really want the kind of wife and husband each describes—does this

ideal spouse actually exist?  Explain why you think Brady wrote her essay in the early 1970s—

and then what motivated Fernsler to respond in the late 1980s...what does each essay say about

the time period in which they were written?

     I think that ideally the authors would like to be the type of spouse that they have described, although I think that they know they do not exist. I think that the duties and traits that the authors described were ones that are expected, ones that are ideal, and ones that society says we should have, or this is how we should act in this role. No man or woman can be the perfect husband or wife, but I think each writer was trying to explain the pressures and at times, unrealistic expectations that each role holds. I think that each writer was trying to achieve appreciation more than anything else. I think that Brady was inspired to write her essay because the 70’s were a time of women’s movement. Women were starting to speak out against the role that they had been placed in. I think that Fernsler wrote his essay in response to Brady’s essay, as well as to explain that men too have a lot of responsibility as a husband. The 1980’s were a time when men especially had to prove themselves, show that they were head honcho, and maybe had more pressure and responsibility than women did. 

What I've Learned From Men Essay

     What I have learned from living in Kentucky is how to live a calm, stable, slow-paced life. I grew up in the busy city of Las Vegas, NV. I was constantly on the move, changing schools, moving into new environments. I had to learn how to adapt. I had to learn to not form relationships. Instability was a part of my life. This went on for eighteen years, until I moved to Kentucky.

     I moved to Kentucky to start a new life. I wanted to take control of my life. I was so used to living a fast paced life, always moving, and never having long term friends. I wanted to slow down, have friends, and live in the same place for over a year. So moving from a city where I did not see myself living happily was my only option.  The way I came to lie in Kentucky was because a friend from high school invited me to move with her. We moved after we graduated, and so my wonderful life in Kentucky began. Life in Kentucky was different. Everything from the environment to the people, I had to learn new things and grow accustomed to my surroundings. The first thing I noticed was how abundant the grass was. I never knew that grass grew by itself! In Las Vegas, green grass yards were always accompanied by sprinklers and yard hands that carefully attended the yards, but in Kentucky it was everywhere. It was all people could do to control it; I have never seen so many people mowing their yards. Nature in general was something that I had to learn about. I never experienced much nature in Las Vegas, all of the trees and grass were deliberately place. I had never seen a wild animal, other than the very rare squirrel. A drive through the countryside of Murray, KY would allow me the pleasure of seeing deer, fox, raccoon, possum, all of which I had only seen on animal planet. Being an animal lover, this was a dream come true. I had never seen lightning bugs, nor did I know anything about pesky insects such as fleas, ticks, and mosquitos. I would have never learned about nature so up close if it weren’t for Kentucky.

     Not only did I learn about nature from living in Kentucky, but I learned a lot about people from living in Kentucky. My mom always taught me never to trust people, always be on the lookout. I never made friends with my neighbors, and I never talked to the cashier at Wal-Mart. All of the people that I encountered were strangers, I didn’t know them, and I didn’t want to know them. But this wouldn’t fly in Kentucky. Being the new girl in town, I was constantly asked questions. They wanted to know who is where, where I came from. I was not use to sharing such information with people I did not know. People would wave at me when I was driving down the street, and this really unnerved me. Why are these people waving at me? Then somebody explained everything to me. People in Kentucky are friendly. They will wave at you, say hello, and ask you what your name is. This was something I definitely had to get used to. In Las Vegas, I could go to the store and shop in peace, not see a single person that I knew. If I ran into a friend somewhere, I would be really surprised. But in Kentucky, going to a store and shopping in peace was not an option. I always ran into someone I knew, there was no getting away without even a brief conversation. Although at first I found it annoying, I really grew to enjoy the fact that I was making friends, and that I had come to know more people in a short period of time than I had ever know in my entire life.

     I moved a year ago to a different city in Kentucky. It’s a little bigger here, but it still has that small town charm. Although I have lived in Kentucky for over six years, I still have a lot to learn. Whether it is learning how to fish or plant a garden, I am happy that I live somewhere that these things are possible.  

“What I’ve Learned from Men” Response Questions

1. What is the tone (see definition below) of the opening paragraph? What does the tone of

Ehrenreich’s first paragraph suggest we can expect in the rest of the essay?

     The tone of the opening paragraph is one of sarcasm and criticism. By reading the first paragraph I expected the tone to carry throughout the essay. I expected that although the title implied something positive, I learned quickly that this wasn’t so.

2. Ehrenreich contrasts “being tough” and “being ladylike.” What are the attitudes and behaviors

that she associates with these opposing ways of being?

     When Ehrenreich describes a woman as being tough, she says that the woman is portrayed as being aggressive, but that women should adopt this way of being. Being a tough woman enables you to stand up for who you are, and it enables you to take credit for your accomplishments.  When Ehrenreich described a woman as being ladylike she said that they would smile to ease situations, not take credit for their accomplishments, and they would let people be rude and aggressive to them just to keep things “nice.”

3. According to Ehrenreich, why are women reluctant to exert power?

     Women are reluctant to exert power because of what society has taught us. Men learn from the time that they are little to be assertive, aggressive, and take control of situations. Women are taught just the opposite. Women learn to be meek, embarrassed of accomplishment, and learn to accept criticism. Because society has taught each gender to behave in certain situations, it is hard to break from the norm, but I believe that it is important for women to stand up for themselves, even if it goes against everything we know.

4. Why do you think Ehrenreich shares the story of her encounter with the “prestigious

professor” in paragraph 3?

     I think that Ehrenreich shares the story of her encounter with the professor because to give an example of a woman being powerless in a situation that she should have taken control. I think that many women can relate to that story. I can relate to that story. I have been in many situations where I have been approached inappropriately by a man in power, and I did nothing to stand up for myself. This is what society has taught us. Knowing that a woman who is confidant and stands up for herself was once similar to me or to other woman, gives some confidence and assurance that we too can become like her.

5. Why do you think she “reruns” the scene with the professor to conclude her essay?  What does

the “do-over” or mulligan allow her to accomplish?

     I think that she reruns the scene with the professor to explain how she should have acted in the situations, and how she would now act in a similar situation. I think it was important for her to reenact the scene to give some basis as to how a woman should stand up for themselves. 

"Night Walker" Blog

     I was on my way to Louisville, Kentucky to see a concert. Bonnie “Prince” Billy was playing in an old church, an exclusive show. I had been a fan for a long time, and had never seen him live, so I was pretty excited. At this time I had been going to concerts frequently. A bunch of friends and I would pile into the car and head out to the nearest city that would be hosting live music. When at these shows I noticed that most people had similar looks, the indie or hipster look is most common. While walking down the streets of Nashville or Memphis, it is easy to identity the other people on their way to the show. For the many concerts I had attended this was true, I liked the fact that I could tell by looking at a person that they probably listen to similar music as I did, and therefore we would have something in common, but on this particular night I would be proven wrong.

     Upon arriving at the church my friend Tim let me know that he in fact did not have tickets, he was hoping to buy them when we arrived, but we had no such luck. So Tim went to plan B. He did what he usually does at concerts, and struck up a conversation with the person next to him. This person too had the same plan, and was on the lookout for tickets for sale. While sitting on the curb, trying to figure out how we were going to get into the show I spotted a man. He was sitting with another man, a six pack of beer between them. They both looked out of place. They were dressed in all black. Their shorts were almost down to their ankles and their shirts were three sizes too big. They had a thug look to them. Surely they were not here to see Bonnie “Prince” Billy. I assumed they were scalpers. I pointed the two guys out to Tim suggesting that he ask if they had tickets, but Tim refused. They didn’t look very approachable. Eventually we talked to some people who told us how to get in. It was dishonest, but we didn’t drive five hours to sit on the curb in Louisville and not see Bonnie “Prince” Billy.

     The room that the show was held in was small and crowded. The stage was no more than two feet off the ground, the floor was slanted and there were maybe two lights on. But it was perfect. Bonnie “Prince” Billy is a bit eccentric, not the usual musician, so this was the perfect venue for him to play at. As we crowded into the room, we tried to push our way to the front. There weren’t any amps, so it would be difficult to hear his guitar and his singing if we were too far back. As we were making our way up to the stage, I spotted the man that I had seen outside. He was right up against the stage. I wondered why he was here. Did he know who was playing? Now I was curious. I kept looking over at him, wondering about him. The show began, and my attention was turned toward the show. After the first song, I looked to see if the guy was still there, and he was. So I continued to watch him. As the second song started, I noticed that this guy new all the words. He was singing along! He knew the words better than I did! I nudged Tim and pointed at the guy; he just chuckled and said, “Go figure.” He wasn’t as astonished as I was.

     I guess I was shocked because I always assumed that people that dressed a certain way liked certain music. Usually this is true, but I was definitely proven wrong that night. I judged this man based on how he was dressed. Because he was dressed so differently than me, I assumed that he must not listen to the same music as I do, we must not have anything in common. That is one day that I think I will never forget because it has taught me not to judge someone so quickly. I have learned that a person’s outer appearance says little to nothing about who that person really is.