Peer Review for Natalie Scott- Describing Sharon

Writer’s Name: Natalie Scott

Reader’s Name: Briana Salter

1.     Are you able to picture the characters in your head?  What other character-related details (age, height, personality, interests, etc.) would enable you to “see” the writer’s characters on the page?

Yes, I think that Natalie give a good, detailed description of Sharon. I have a good sense of what she looks like, how she gets around, her likes and dislikes, and even the sound of her voice. I don’t think any further detail would be necessary.

   2.     Does it seem like an essential major or minor character is missing from the story? What other characters would you like to see in the story?  Are there any major or minor characters that you could cut from the story?  Why/why not

Because Sharon is the main character, she should get most of the spot light, but I think Natalie should have included more of Sharon’s and Nate’ relationship. Maybe she could have included a couple of brief stories about their relationship. Sharon’s mother was mentioned in the story, but not I don’t know much about her, so she should have described her a little more, or left her out.

   3. Is the plot/action entertaining?  What could the writer do to “spice” up the action or captivate your attention?

I think to make the story a little more interesting, she should have included some more stories about Sharon. She does a good job at describing her, but I don’t feel as though I know as much as I could about her.

   4. Can you picture where the story takes place?  Why or Why not?  What else could the writer do to establish the setting of the story?

Form reading the story, I know that Sharon lives in an apartment, but I don’t know much else. To make the setting more interesting, Natalie could have included that state she lives in or a particular season.

   5. Where in the draft could the writer add more description or background?  Where would you like to have more specific who, what, when, where, why, or how details?

As I mentioned before, she could have included a specific story that involved Nate and his grandmother, then she could have included specific details such as why, how, and what.

   6. Does the dialogue in the story seem realistic?  What could the writer do to     improve the dialogue?  Where would you like to see less/more dialogue?

There is very little dialogue in the story. The only dialogue is when Sharon yells things at the television, or the comment she makes about her mother. If a specific story was told, then dialogue could be incorporated.

   7. What can the writer do to make this story better?

I think including a specific story about the character would make the essay more interesting.